I see that there are 74 followers… OMG! That’s like an entire college classroom. That’s a lot of people who have chosen to follow my blog. And i just sighed about six times in writing the past couple of sentences. Thank you all so, so much. There could even be 2 or just one. I might even have none! What matters to me, what really makes me say “thousand times to the 24th power thank you!” is that just one person is reading. This is really important and not just for me. It’s not even really ABOUT me. I’d like to point and give recognition to the Autistic community. This disability takes quite a toll on me and thus on so many others who suffer so greviously with it. My wife is such an absolute comfort, in that she holds me and kisses me yet knows and allows me to take lead in our family. God has assuredly conditioned me to grow, become stronger and establish my place in the world as a competant working husband and becomeing, hopefully, father. However, God was not so much responsible for my recovery as it was I who decided. I simply made a decision: I said that “I choose to live.” God pointed the way, lifted me as I fell (many, many times) and even pulled me out of certain death, quite literaly, as a mother or father would yank their child away from grave danger; not intending, never, to harm their child… I’ve heard of children’s arms getting dislocated because the instincts of the parent were so great, and the force of their sincere protection was fairly violent, the child became wounded. It was good because the alternately was to just simply let the truck run over them and kill them….
That being said, I’ve also had numerous coping mechanisms. There is also one very promenent coping mechnism, and you’ve probably guessed it: writing.
I used to loathe technology and the Internet. Oh, wait, I still do…. But, thank God it is here becasue I love writing. And now, blessed be, I can write my thoughts and feelings freely and openly absent of all prejudice and scorn with, and I cannot believe it, over seventy followers. This is sevent plus more followers than I had journaling at Starbucks for many years. So, thank you all again and thank you all a million times more. It means so much that I have listeners; readers. And insofar as my writing has helpped me through many struggles, verbally my monologuing has aided in keeping me from going crazy-er… again. Thus I love movies. Watching these and certain films repeateedly has allowed me to speak, albeit to myself; and even in contexts of social constructs of all paradigms: romantic; conflicting; battling; conversational; resolving et cetera. This, in turn, has significantly, in tandem with my adoration for writing, allowed a type of savant nature of story telling, writing and all otherwise “communication” via books, books and even more books.
Dormant, now, for many moons, my library still rests. The Rudimentum Series alone encapsulates an entire vestibule worth of tomes. Autism is far too underated for me not to get at least a littele flustered. In a nut-shell, as I sit and work and answer my phone and input my stock numbers and vehicle information VIN’s et cetera, if a co-worker walks by and makes an incredibly sociological neutral joke, comment or interactional gesticulation of communication, my responses, tailered in every respect of the word, are reciprocated. Even if the conversation is seconds long, quite literaly, I am left feeling absolutely exhuasted. Absent of rehersal, no predisposition considering that such gestures of good fraternaty are often random, unplanned et cetera and also that the stimulus is executed during times of already established fatigue or a day when, as with every one, you’re just “off” or sluggish, as I usually am. Therefore, a siimple, “hey, dave, what’s up, my friend?!” “Not much, Bob (not a real name). What’s up with you?” Srangely, after I retort with the benign comment, I typically do not get another response and they walk away to their desk/business. And I’m left feeling like I just did a 200 pound squating session at the gym- on leg day- with a hangover- and a bad sholder- in Fargo- in February- outside- naked… okay, you got the point:
Moral: life its excruciaatingly tough for those on the Autistic spectrum. All the more worse in that we kind of look “normal”… Hang on, let me add emphasis: “”””normal”””” Just saying, because we only look that way when internally we’re picking up on everything… ev-er-y-thing. So, *sly chuckels* here’s where my thank you’s come in that I have 70 some odd followers:
I IMPLORE you readers, my followers, my friends, please, please, at least check out my amazon page. I’m getting a little desperate and I am in no way blaming or calling anyone out. But, the fact remains that I stand before you all somewhat “starving”. I know money is that taboo subject. I pray that for most of you, you understand that my view of money is no different than a plumber to a pipe or a craftsman to a hammer. Yet, sometimes, in a dry spell, the musician needs some tunning forks, the construcction worker needs some new steel-toed boots and the writer needs some resources for his home, life and family. We are all hard workers. I’ve never believed myself to be lazy nor anyone else who is honest and hard working. But, it is a struggle to earn a living these days. And like any company, I do try to make sales to promote a business; to promote Autism; to promote something that is just, worthy and wholeheartedly needed; like boots, hammers, nails, computers, hard hats, gasoline or food.
I’m humble before God, before you all and to my wife. And my contribution to this, what I seek to give you all, with whom I love and bear eternal gratitude, are books. Like the Starbucks CEO who strives to bring about great drinks that are not too unhealthy. Like even Bill Gates who wanted to bring an oporating system to the public that worked well with, well WORK. For me, I want to be able to give you and EVERYONE books to read. LIterally, books, stories, fiction and even non-fiction just so you can have something fun, entertaining and even inspiring. I pray to God everyday that I can show his love for everyone but especially, after him, my family; my wife. So, I’m going to pitch some sales here for you all. But, this is all in the uttermost pureest of faith; good faith; God’s faith.
I am Autistic. To cope with my stress and what I deemed were the “agonies” of this world, I delved into movies, characters, monologing, writing, words and an absolute dogma towards the English language: spoken, written and heard. I can no more flaunt my talent of writing than a tiger can boast of its strength, power or sharp-preying claws and stealth: I was gifted by God and I develped it, thoroughly. Now, the extent of this talent, the prowess behind that for which I long to ememante like an aoura of bright light amid the darkest cave, is for the world: you. What is a fisherman without fish. What is a country without the people. What is a bee without a hive. What is a dealership without cars or cars without the driver. Verily, what is a writer without readers. Yet, this writer, this master of his profession yet humble enough to admit he is NOT perfect and has yet much to learn and smooth out in his writing, promotes his books, passionately. For there are books and then there are novels: his are neither. If you wish to read these books, if you wish to experience a journey of a movie which lasts between a few dozen pages to over 100,000 words long, then, by all means, open this “Narnia” wardrobe “Lucy” and find that this wodrous world of “spa ‘oom” is far, far bigger than any Voldemort in villian you’ll ever know and much more in deapth than the vast expanse of history of the Silmorilian. If you wish to fly, read a novel. If you wish to learn, read a book. If you long and desire to not only escape, but find also that your own imagination is accelerated into its own private universe, then read the Lord of the Rings.
But… if you truly, really want to leave your soul and bide your mind into realms for which reality itself metamorphisizes via hyperpolarizations; that your utter reality is “violated” then take the adventure. Begin with The Rudimentum Series: Aeon Eternal. Aeon Eternal
and if your brain is still “active”, test it even further with The Rudimentum Series: Paradisium Paradisium
Thank you all so very much. I cannot say it enough: thank you! It’s flattering to have you all following. For those of you who are new: welcome! Be sure you all “like” and follow and check out my instagram with all the links below. Please, get a copy of these wonderful reads that I provide so that, if you like them, your help will make more and more and more, for all you readers out there. So blessings always, thank you, all love and keep reading.
-The Giver of Words.
Postscript: just an after thought: this, readers, is what I hope you will do: I wish my books to bring you all this: Star Wars TributeJust an example of what a good creative mind (Lucas) can do not just for one person, for the few or for the creator themselves, but for the whole-wide-world… This is also the result of you, the fans indeed making dreams, making a phenomenon like Star Wars come to life. All it takes is a reader. Pass it on, and let us change the world. Thank you all. Blessings!
-Giver of Words.